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Old 11-22-2012, 05:25 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Wow, I have to hand it to you for hanging in there with this situation. I've been reading your blog and am fascinated by how you are conducting your relationships. There seem to be so many aspects of Chipmunk and Airyn's relationship that you are forced to micro-manage to the nnnnnth degree, and Airyn seems to want to be in control of how you and Chipmunk even speak to each other, what can and cannot be discussed between you, and how things are said and interpreted. That would drive me nuts. I am a very detail-oriented person, but in my own relationships I wouldn't be able to handle such detailed negotiating and all the... nitpicking?... others do that you wind up having to answer to and navigate around. I guess it's because she lives with you that you are sort of put in a position of managing her, too. She sounds so much younger and less mature than you. I can't imagine having to tell a grown adult to bring her own lunch to work, nor that it would even be an issue relationship-wise (what would she do - just not eat at all if Airyn didn't bring her lunch? When she works within walking distance of home? It boggles the mind). I'm not criticizing, but it's kind of exhausting (for me) to read your posts. However, I can't look away.

I do admire how thoughtful you are and how you keep coming back to both Airyn and Chipmunk to express what you need and how you feel. You strike me as rather fearless and assertive in that regard, as that is always something I have to push past numerous insecurities to do, myself.

To me, how you are working it all out really does drive home how unique every poly arrangement truly is, and how they reflect the individuals involved... how they have to reflect the individuals. There really can't be one general set of rules applied to everyone who wants multiple relationships. Keep writing and keep hanging in there! I am sure there are others who also get a lot out of reading your blog.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 11-22-2012 at 05:32 PM.
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