Aw...I don't think you are stupid.
I think you are under a hot and heavy crush thing. I'm just saying go slow
here. Assess the lay of the land first before doing anything.
If after a calm assessment of your fitness to take on THIS kind of relationship with THIS person? Like -- "ok, systems check -- I'm good in myself and fit for the mission!" Next you check in with him to see how he feels about exploring all that-- if HE is willing to go there after he does a systems check of himself. Is HE good in himself and fit for the mission? (Ben will have to also be good in himself and fit for the mission. ) Nobody ever died from going slow, and waiting to let the "pink fluffy cloud lala" feeling to clear a bit so they can do a solid assessment of themselves, their potential poly partners, and the poly configuration that could be built here.
THIS is what this relationship will take to fly well. Do I have what it takes? Does the rest of the crew on this potential polyship?
I love the pink fluffy lala feelings of a crush -- it is FUN!
Enjoy that part of it while you are at that part of it.
A time and place for everything, and everything in its time and place.
YOU are the pilot of your life destiny. Don't rush off to build things, and don't NOT build them. But rather get there in a good time of your choosing.
If you feel like "Yes! I am fit! I am prepared and realistic!" Go for it, chica! Ask him if he's interested and what HIS fitness for this mission is. Enjoy all the little steps in the discovery/dating process!