Thread: How do i...
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Old 11-22-2012, 04:03 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 954
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowbunnie View Post
...I guess wanting to make it work with someone who would be extremely complicated to even have in my life just makes me stupid.

I think I'm going to crawl under a rock now.
Oh dear! You don't need need to feel bad! I, and most people here, don't think you are stupid - just caught up in the flood of new possibilities and attraction, which tends to make us view situations through rose-colored glasses and believe that all things are possible. (Which is likely some kind of survival mechanism - if we saw everybody's flaws in stark reality before we had a chance to get to know them and love them very few relationships would get off the ground )

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowbunnie View Post
He makes me smile, blush, and feel like I'm special. Don't get me wrong Ben can as well, but's it's refreshing to actually see it, feel it, and have it offered to me from another.
And there is nothing wrong with that! Enjoy it! Bask in it!

...but don't bank on it. Relationships are built out of more than attraction (or even love). Just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean that you have to pursue things to any particular level. You can enjoy a crush or a flirty friendship, enjoy his attention, etc. without necessarily taking it any further.

The folks on this board, looking at the information that you have provided from an outside position are just pointing out that poly (and relationships in general) can be hard enough without throwing additional hurdles into the mix. Especially, if this is new to you (and them). And communication - being such a foundation for any relationship, mono or poly, can be a real sticking point even if people speak the same language.

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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