Well, it would have to start with apology from him.
Then you have to decide to forgive or not.
- If forgive, what he needs to do to make amends so the relationship can continue.
- If not forgive, how to end the relationship.
How exactly the details of all that will be done in your situation and in what order -- I do not know. You may want to seek a counselor to help you sort.
But just because this is polyship, doesn't mean you cannot access resources meant for monoships. Marriages recovering from a cheating partner -- oodles of books, articles, resources. You could google.
But just an idea for the steps in one conflict resolution method style -- here is one article.
A monoship acquaintance of mine praised marriagebuilder
as a thing that's resonated with them and helped them because they chose to repair. I don't know if that approach could work for you or not -- but there's other approaches.
I don't even know if you are WILLING to repair or if you are at a deal breaker place. Are you dealing with a break up? Are you dealing with recovering from a break in trust? What IS this animal? Have you decided? Prob not. But don't rush making the decision.
You don't have to know yet or have instant answers. That's the thing.
I think maybe you are emotionally flooding right now at THIS point in time because it is fresh. So it's best to just TLC yourself first before making more decisions that just ramp up the high emotion with more anxiety. BREATHE.
One thing a a time. It's hard to feel, but you will get there. One thing at a time, one day at a time... you will move yourself to a Healing Place bit by bit and process one thing at a time. BREATHE.
And you have all
the time you need. You don't have to hurry or do anything now other than just BREATHE.
Do your basics -- eat well, sleep well, get a check up if this is taking a toll on your sleep/eats/causing mega stress or mega anxiety. Get a massage... whatever you "TLC myself things are."