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Old 11-22-2012, 04:24 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,219

I am so sorry you are experiencing this!

You have to put your own oxygen mask on first, and look after your long term health -- mind, body, heart and soul. One thing at a time. BREATHE.

He def gets tested. So do you.

Then you could choose things to do for each "health bucket."

  • Do your own TLC and self care things so you can be at a more calm place and tend to the other buckets not struggling with fresh "heat of the moment" feelings. I don't know what those are for you -- a heart to heart with a friend? A bubble bath? A massage? Prob many things.

  • talk and do the work of trust repair
  • do not do the work of trust repair
  • (this depends on if you are willing to forgive him or not and if this behavior is a dealbreaker with you.)

  • do not have sex at all ever
  • do not have sex until tests come in
  • have sex, but only with toys, gloves, condoms, dental dams etc

Again -- I am sorry you are going through this.

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