I am so sorry you are experiencing this!
You have to put your own oxygen mask on first, and look after your long term health -- mind, body, heart and soul. One thing at a time. BREATHE.
He def gets tested. So do you.
Then you could choose things to do for each "health bucket."
EMOTIONAL HEALTH / SPIRITUAL HEALTH
- Do your own TLC and self care things so you can be at a more calm place and tend to the other buckets not struggling with fresh "heat of the moment" feelings. I don't know what those are for you -- a heart to heart with a friend? A bubble bath? A massage? Prob many things.
- talk and do the work of trust repair
- do not do the work of trust repair
- (this depends on if you are willing to forgive him or not and if this behavior is a dealbreaker with you.)
- do not have sex at all ever
- do not have sex until tests come in
- have sex, but only with toys, gloves, condoms, dental dams etc
Again -- I am sorry you are going through this.