We're both willing to try a unconventional family model, but it has to work for us and allow us to be happy inside of it. We are not going to stay together for the sake of the kids if staying together makes us unhappy.
I'm sure my wife is having a hard time with this as well, and I know she feels an extreme amount of guilt. I suspect she's been trying to come to terms with with this and "leaving me" for a better part of 2 years if not more so she probably had prepared herself for it. I on the hand had inklings the last while but was always assured she loved me and wanted to be with me. I know she still loves me and I her, but we have to do what makes us each happy.
The kids don't know anything different other than Mummy and Daddy have been sad lately. We're still sleeping in the same bed which I like as I like the comfort, but we've talked about her moving down to the third room as she's worried I may be using it as a crutch and that it may just be extending my pain. I don't feel that I am using it that way, I might be deluding my self, but I just truly enjoy her company and like being close. When she does move out of our room, our kids are small enough that I think an answer of "So mummy and daddy could have their own rooms" will suffice. It may confuse them at first but after a while it will just be normal. We definitely are not going to perpetrate an illusion of us still being married to our children or anyone else. Kids I think would see through that and I don't want them to think that we stayed together in a unhappy arrangement for them. I think that might fill them with guilt and give them an unhealthy image of what a relationship should look like.
As for counseling she does not want to go which is fine as that's her decision, she will be coming with me to my first session with my councilor so that he can get both sides of the story and hopefully help me better. She has also said she will come to any other sessions I would need her to come to.
Thank you all again.