Jonny, I am sorry you are going through this difficulty. I think going to counseling is the best thing you can do, though I wonder why she doesn't want to. In any event, it will be good for you to get a handle on things emotionally. Children can and do thrive inall sorts of living arrangements. With hard work and dedication, you can be successful at co-parenting. Just keep sticking with whatever helps you in the healing/grieving process over the romantic aspect of your relationship. You can get through it.
Originally Posted by sparklepop
I definitely don't believe in 'normal' family models. I think that the most important thing is the children - that they should have a say in what happens. But, I do feel that if they are on board with an 'alternative' situation, it could absolutely work.
. . . I believe that as long as you listen to the children, it can be perfectly healthy to have an 'unusual' parental setup... whatever that may be.
Of course, the children's welfare and feelings should be considered, but consulting them on how to run an adult relationship? That is wacko to me. They are only 4 and 5 years old. No children should be given authority to make decisions about the intricacies of adult interpersonal relationships or how a household is run. Until they are adults and making decisions about their own lives, kids need to learn and grow and adjust to the hands they've been dealt, assisted with love and care by their parents and/or adult caregivers, yes, but "have a say" about living arrangements? I don't see how it's reasonable or wise to have the preferences of children in kindergarten and first grade dictate their parents' decisions.