Originally Posted by bravodelta
Did you ever think that the way he was forced into it was for fear of losing her?
What makes you think he was forced
into the arrangement they had? The OP has been nothing but communicative and considerate. They talked and talked and talked, and agreements were made so that everyone would be satisfied. He would voice more concerns, adjustments were made, he said he was okay with things as they moved forward. Then he'd freak out again after some perceived slight, and ask for more adjustments. And again, she accommodated him. And now he's saying he didn't really want any of it. It's not the OP's fault that he was dishonest when he very proactively told her what boundaries needed to be in place for him to be comfy with it, and she obliged him everything he asked for. He certainly wasn't forced, and I am sure if he had said NO to it straight from the get-go, she would have accepted that, albeit very sadly. It has been a huge challenge for both of them.