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Old 11-21-2012, 06:19 PM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 350
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Hi Jester

Like a lot of other people here, I agree that kink and poly can go hand-in-hand, rope-on-wrist, paddle-on-ass, etc... ~grins~

I like Schrodinger's suggestion to perhaps explore one thing at a time.

I know from experience that for me *personally*, too many rocky things can make me topple. I'd rather deal with one new, potentially emotional or stressful situation at a time, than pile them all up at once. But then, I'm a scaredy cat and you may be braver.

Hmmm... as for BDSM and poly... do you specifically mean in terms of say... Master/sub relationships tending to be monogamous, therefore, where's the room for other partners? Or do you mean in terms of health and safety?

I am a Domme and unlike a lot of Mistresses and Masters, I do not actually believe in the idea of submissives having to stick to one dominant...yet Dom/mes being able to have multiple submissives. I feel that if I want multiple submissives, all of them can play with other Dom/mes. If I got to the point of collaring a submissive, I would arrange rules that we were both happy with; but definitely not a blanket "you are my submissive, you must not date anyone else". That kind of 24/7 control is reserved, in my eyes, for Master/slave relationships.

As for safety... I feel it is the same as any other kind of poly. Make sure you use protection, discuss what kind of sex is ok (everything? no oral? no fluid exchanges?) Get regular STI tests, etc.

BDSM can be a great mechanic in poly. Both my girlfriend and I are Mistresses and her husband is a switch. If I can eventually have a girl, she can have a boy and her husband can join in, then we have a little poly group that is safe and trustworthy, yet still flexible and fresh.

I hope that helps to answer your question!
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Me: (30f) open poly
Serious long-distance relationship with GF (40f)
Casual FWB with Descartes (27f)



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