A short update: I wanted to get some clarifications from T to really understand where I stood so I brought up the subject.
I started ¨about that time...¨ and he immediately told me ¨I'm not into polyamory.¨
I was actually surprised that he guessed exactly where I was going there. But that was a clear, straight answer and now I'm set for good.
It's definitely a shame as I really like him, but I'm hoping our friendship will survive the whole thing. He's been mature and respectful the whole time so I'm hopeful.
I'm mostly having trouble really realusing that's it's done, it's dealt with and I can move on now.
On some level I feel silly and embarrassed, but Seamus thinks I handled the situation well.
Now to get ready for Thanksgiving (he's invited).