Your feelings are what you feel. They are telling you something. That pushing for no condom sex is a limit thing.
DH has unprotected oral sex with this woman on short notice. He promised it won't happen again, but did he apologize for it it happening at all? If he hasn't, is that causing you to feel emotionally unsafe about this developing thing?
Add to the mentally unsafe of not knowing if your fluid bonding to him and then bonded to her her thru him has made you physically unsafe? I could understand feeling yucky.
Don't just promise that it never will happen again. What steps are being taken to ensure? Condoms on his person at all times? YOU insist on condoms with YOU and him having sex -- until sex screenings from him come back clear? Before continuing future fluid bonding?
What other things do you need for reassurance? To feel more mentally at ease, emotionally at ease, etc?