Your feelings are what you feel. They are telling you something. That pushing for no condom sex is a limit thing.
DH has unprotected oral sex with this girl on short notice. He promised it won't happen again, but did he apologize for it it happening at all? What will be done if it DOES happen? Don't just promise that it never will. It is unsettling to not know outcome/conflict resolution plan. What steps are being taken to ensure? Condoms on his person at all times? YOU insist on condoms with YOU and him having sex -- until sex screenings from him come back clear? Before continuing future fluid bonding?
What other things do you need for reassurance?
at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH.
Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)