Originally Posted by Archaeolibris
/ So then the question remains . . . how and where do you think I (or my partner, or both of us), could meet and actually get to know someone who is interesting, attractive, and down with us both for some adventure? For those open couples who have had success with this, please tell me about how and why it worked for you. What advice do you have about pursuing someone for a fling with your partner?
I should add that we are not looking to add someone to our relationship in the long term . . . we're happy as we are, but it would be really lovely to meet someone, flirt, talk, do some things together, maybe end up in bed all three of us just once or a few times . . .
All of my NSA three(or more)some experiences have evolved out of sexy friendships / FWBs type situations with people that I already knew or knew of ("friends-of-friends") and who already knew what types of things they might expect from me ("Here comes JaneQ...looks like she's on the prowl...don't worry, she'll tone it down if you tell her you are uncomfortable...")
In general, since I am more "sexually aggressive" (i.e. a shameless flirt) than MrS, most of these encounters have been instigated by me...with the exception of my first FFM threesome*. That first time, his ex-girlfriend-then-FWB (SweetPea in my blog here), approached me with a proposition along the lines of: MrS's birthday is coming up and she thinks that MrS would enjoy a threesome with some hot girl-on-girl action and she knows I am attracted to him and she thinks I'm cute and would I consider being a third?
MrS's close friend VV was having some bi-curious feelings and asked him to keep an eye out for a likely candidate, when he and I started to hook-up he let her know I would probably be game. VV and I started to play together and sometimes invited MrS to play along with us, or with us and another girl that one of us had found to play with. (VV has now been my FWB for close to 20 years - she has a male SO and, in accordance with their agreements, threesomes are off the table with another male - although he did arrange for a mutual female friend that she had played with before to join them as a "birthday present")
Then there was the time that I seduced a bridesmaid at his ex-girlfriend's wedding and asked her if she'd like to join me and MrS back at the hotel for some post-reception sexy-fun-times...
Then there was that Halloween party where everyone was about half-naked anyway...or that party on the night that we set the clocks back for "Daylight Savings" and we decided that nothing that happened in the "free" hour "counted"..
In summation, I guess my advice would be: Cultivate friendships with attractive, interesting, sexually adventurous people and then be open to the possibility of seizing on opportunities as they present themselves.
For us, it seems, the "birthday present" or "special occasion" excuse for hedonistic behavior seems to work - no pressure or expectation that it needs to happen again (although if it works well - no reason you can't later say - "We really had a great time last fall...any chance that you'd be interested in re-visiting that?")
That's just my experience...YMMV.
*PS. You can read about the hilarity that ensued as a result of this first attempt in my "Journey"
blog - the Threesome Tangent