I like how this thread went from talking about sexual privacy to whole theories on sexual shame versus sexual privacy.
I hate it when my husband shouts out to his friend while we are all in the apartment "I DID THIS WITH MY WIFE"
His friends' girlfriend and I look at each other.. like ....."Omg... DId he really just go there."
I'm not ashamed about the sexual practices I do with my husband(the sexual practice in question in fact is something our couple friends do too.)
However, its more intimate when its kept private I think. I like it that way. Its something "we" share and not any one else. Now say my husband has another partner and they practice the EXACT SAME SEXUAL PRACTICES, if either my husband or his lover don't want me to know, then thats their business.
Its like the whole argument about anti gay groups going EWW WHAT YOUDO IN BED IS GROSS. You can't say thats sexual shame, thats straight(mostly religious people) acting like five year olds. Thats what makes my husband straight, the idea of having sex with a man completely does the opposite of arousing him. No shame in that, just not for him. So you can't link a need for sexual privacy with sexual shame 100% of the time.
I don't think the GF in question doesn't want you to know because she is ashamed with what she does, but because honestly... when it comes down to it. Its none of your business, if they choose to make it your business then okay, it becomes your business. I believe you have certain rights as a human being and having sexual privacy is one of them. The only thing I think multiple partners have a right to know about sexual matters with other parties is if it directly affects them, such as with safer sex. Do you use condoms or not? And thats about it.
The GF has a total right to her privacy.
Here's another analogy. A long time ago when we had our first roommate. The room mate did not have a computer and asked to use my husbands in the time being to help look for a job. He was fine with it, until he was leaving the house. He honestly didn't want her using it while he wasn't around. He wouldn't give her the password so she could get into it whenever she wanted. The same roommate also used my lotions, shampoo, and body wash when I didn't know. Said certain items were things I used VERYLITTLE, cause they were SPECIAL items I bought to pamper myself with, they weren't my normal shampoo and body washing items. However she seemed to have this thought, that because we were roommates, she should be allowed to use whatever was in the house WHENEVER, cause she would let us do the same with her stuff.
Can you see where thats wrong? My stuff is MY STUFF. No it doesn't hurt it much if you use it, but its STILL MY STUFF. Just because YOU have a way of thinking about the usage of it doesn't mean I have to be the same way. It's my stuff... It's my thoughts..
Its my... SEXUAL PRIVACY... NOT YOURS... The End.
PS: Said roommate lasted less than a year because of said problems... I think the same thing could reign true for your relationship if you're not more considerate of her needs as well.
Last edited by Witch; 11-21-2012 at 02:45 AM.