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Old 11-20-2012, 05:42 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 700

Originally Posted by Archaeolibris View Post
What to call it has been the least of my worries . . . what to do about it sometimes is.
I do understand the resistance to labels, really I do. However, creating terms to talk about stuff really helps one communicate with others.

Originally Posted by Archaeolibris View Post
So am I textbook polyamorous? I suppose I just don't feel like that is the most important question . . . and that was part of my turn-off to the poly community: everybody seemed eager to label me in ways that I felt didn't describe me at all, and were mostly interested in 1.) coming on to me in ways that were overly-permissive and uncomfortable 2.) making sure that my relationship followed a bunch of books on polyamory that I was not allowed to question or disagree with 3.) trying to sell me sex products. Frankly very few folks seemed to want to get to know me or to hear about how I 'do' love, they were more concerned if I was doing it their way, if I was really 'one of them.' That mostly convinced me that I didn't want to be.
I feel sad when I read stuff like this. I have heard similar stories of other places. My local community is so different and so lovely. My local poly group is family oriented, there are frequently several rugrats running around at meetings. Oh sure, some of the men give it a shot, and I've been warned of one or two, but on the whole, it's lovely. And they have plenty of events for 'doing' because sometimes it's nice to 'do' with people who have the same vocabulary, or at least an extra girlfriend or two, without having to explain why or who or how and no you can't watch.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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