Thank y'all for taking the time to examine this in excruciating detail.
...I DO remember saying I didn't want seriousness...
...I seem to be getting seriousness anyway.
to be fair with this woman, you should probably figure out what kind of non-monogamy you are after. Because the intimate, good friends who are lovers need to be able to respect themselves. That requires that you treat them as you would a close friend, with respect.
So I need to figure out what I want.
So I need to know how to communicate respect to her in a way that she can receive.
So I ask her what she needs to feel respected.
If the answer's sexual exclusivity, then she and I are going to have to be friends, because I can't give her that.
Do I respect her?
I have to think about it...I know I ought to feel respect for her.
I am doing my best to treat her with the respect she ought to have as a unique, precious, and tenderhearted human being.
What I do feel is fear.
Sort of a battle between desire and fear.
I find it kind of nervewracking that she's attaching to me so rapidly.
Flattering too though...
After having my ex tell me what a loser I was in exquisite, Aspie-powered detail, and making me feel like a perv for desiring sex...