The more I butt up against it, the demand of being able to have others, preferably others who are NOT just casual sexual partners, but real and meaningful "significant others"...the right for me to seek this feels like a "hard boundary." As in the right to do it isn't something I am willing to give away.
...She flipped out when I asked her if she wanted to know about the others, you see. My ideal is that my others can also care about each other, so that they are friends and/or lovers as well.
I'm going to take her at her word...That sounds callous. It IS callous. It's looking like either that or walk away from her as a lover...
So I guess my goal is to build up HER self-esteem until she either (a) feels secure with my poly-ness, or (b) feels special enough to tell me to get lost because she can't take my poly-ness.
I seem to have a really mild case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, btw...so it's not like I necessarily constitute a single partner...in the first place, you know?