IAW nyc. In all the poly groups I've attended, people who attend for the sake of getting laid are generally frowned upon.
Also, you are not looking for poly, you're looking for swinging. I say that without judgement, but rather that you can have better luck finding what you want if you're clear about what you're seeking.
Gralson: my husband. Auto: my girlfriend.
Zoffee: Auto's husband. Cue: Zoffee's boyfriend. Bookie: Cue's wife.