Is this a case where your need to share is greater than their need to know at this time?
How does their knowing this move the close relationship with Z forward? Forward to WHAT?
How does their knowing this move the cool (whatever it is) with J forward? Forward to WHAT?
Does it add or take away from the current climate of cool silence between them? Would sharing in this knowledge change tolerable cool silence to hot-head war?
Sometimes when you love people, it's best to just feel it. And not do anything else about it at this time. Because you could choose to wait and see what the next hunk of time brings -- new information, changes in willingness of any of the players, changes in your own desire to share the news etc. Maybe sleep on it for a month and see where it is at? The urgency to share.
On top of that, whatever you feel about J and J about you... he is not willing to be in a polyship with you and Z. That is a personal limit. You are not still together for a reason. YOU may want things. But ALL players in a polyship have to want the same thing or things just do not line up. One person wanting it isn't enough to make it a runner.
Maybe you need to share the feelings... but to people who are NOT them. Did writing it here help any to lessen your burden?
Last edited by GalaGirl; 11-19-2012 at 06:20 AM.