Originally Posted by nycindie
Would S even want to go? It could be very awkward for her. I don't know if I'd want to sit at a large family gathering with lots of people I don't know either fumbling over what to say or avoiding me. Have you asked what she wants to do on Thanksgiving?
As an alternative, you could host MIL and family at your place for dinner.
S wants to be accepted. The other night B and i went to a 50th anniversary for his parents. S would have liked to go and felt some rejection when she wasnt invited. B and I talked to her and explained that this particular outing would not be a good time to reintroduce her to the family. She wants to be a full participant in our lives. This is one of the adjustments with a triad also. Sometimes we find ourselves with invitations for only two of us. It can be hard for S when it's something only for myself and B. so far when it's something for me and S, B has been fine.
Honestly, I know she will be uncomfortable when the time comes. If it were me, I would rather not be exposed to people who aren't interested in getting to know me, but she feels differently. She takes it personally, I wish she wouldn't.
Maybe inviting mil to our house would be a better idea, then S could retreat if she felt she needed to.