Originally Posted by LadyMacbeth
Being really into attachment theory, I have to add that a guy named John Bolby followed my Mary Ainsworth and others (Heinz Kohut, on and on) have written reams about how attachment is an intrinsic need...and their work has fundamentally impacted how I view love and the concept of "neediness." We're programmed as humans to seek proximity and "need" proximity when in distress or having other strong emotions. It's something we shrinks call "healthy dependence" as opposed to unhealthy, as mono discussed (abuse, codependence, etc.)
I rarely remember the names of the folks whose works I've read (or whose work has been discussed in something else I've read), so it's quite nice to have somebody else around who can provide references. And probably explain things more clearly than can I. And have absorbed a greater breadth of material than have I, given that psychology has always been a secondary study for me. Speak up on the differences between healthy and dysfunctional dependence, please.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.