Thread: Help the n00b?
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Old 11-17-2012, 09:49 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431
Default so long as real communication took place

and on your end of the two way street of communication there was nothing that you didn't divulge for whatever reason, it sounds as if they may not be compatible with any form of non-monogamy.

But it would be best to to judge not from the issue you present here, but how they react after the fact. Everyone makes mistakes and to truly be free in terms of giving, receiving, and sharing Love (which is another way to say 'experiencing' or 'L I V I N G' ) because if you are speaking truly intimate relationships that are much more than sex, what most people would call polyamory, it takes being able to be self reflective, honesty, AND being able to communicate. You must genuinely know yourself and all but requires you to follow a code of ethics when mistakes are made, and mistakes will be made. It's not the only way to be successful, but it is drastically improves the likely hood of finding others who you may not be compatible with. It is good to remember that you can spend ten years trying to be poly with the wrong persons and it will not happen. Not unless one of you is willing to abandon yourself. But abandoning your true self dooms most people to misery no matter what they do.

If you have honestly not failed to communicate with full disclosure your thoughts and feelings from your end, and they told you it was OK when it was not, unless they take a minute to recognize that they were in the wrong for whatever reason you will probably end up in a world of emotional hurt. Being able to communicate honestly is easier to learn then the process of truly knowing yourself. If they don't know themself it isn't smart to continue to pursue a poly life with them. If they were just irresponsible with their words, not all hope is lost, but typically the biggest indication of whether or not it will work is their reaction after the mistake.

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 11-17-2012 at 10:00 PM. Reason: typos
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