Sounds like depression/grief counseling could be needed for her. Maybe even for you. Handling all this by yourself is not good for your health just as her going "numb" is not good for her.
Can you ask her to make an appointment? Or ask if she'd be willing for you to make it for her? Or shoot -- make one for you! Or a couples thing. Try to reach out to her.
Hang in there. I was thinking of you today and wondered if you'd update.