I hate it when people tell me this when I'm feeling that way, but I'm going to say it anyway. Things do get better. And a lot of it is in your outlook. I'm not saying you haven't faced some tremendous hardships, the list of facts you gave are enough to bring anyone down. But in my own life, I find that if I can try to find the good things in my life and focus on those, then I start to feel less crappy about all the crappy things.
I haven't tracked you over the past year, but your name was familiar and I searched for your threads. Is this "partner" the same as your "Boyfriend" from this post http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15182
? If so, it sounds like things have never been so great with him, and now they've gone from bad to worse. Is it possible that holding on to him is dragging you down in the rest of your life, preventing you from reaching your full happiness potential?
When we started dating, my girlfriend was way more "into me" than I was "into her." For a while it was really awkward for me and I never really knew how to react when she was being uber affectionate, and I was just sorta chilling out. Eventually we had a talk about it and I explained where I was at emotionally. Knowing explicitly how I felt, she was able to reign in her feelings enough to put us on an even keel. Since then, we've had a great dynamic. Would something like that be possible for you? In other words, lower your expectations of your partner so that you aren't disappointed when he doesn't live up to your ideals?