don't leave this up to an attorney. I learned the hard way that the only way to get your money's worth out of a lawyer is to educate yourself on the laws and statutes as best you can, so you know what you're dealing with.
some states have made it very clear in their courtrooms that sexual orientation is NOT to be considered in custody cases, and neither is extramarital sex a factor in the fitness of a parent.
if you can, for your own sake, get down to your local law library or see if you can access lexis nexis... search for published court cases covering dissolution of marriage, adultery, affairs, sexual orientation, sexual conduct and see what you turn up. if your ex is represented, you will want a lawyer as well, but if he's going in pro se, you can get away with going pro se IF you make sure you're informed on case law to make a defense against any attack he brings in regarding your personal life.
solo polyamorous pansexual queer biological female with Aspergers.