Make a list of talking points. Have him do the same. Compare lists.
Think about how much time you want to talk about each. Listen. I once had a discussion where we timed the bullet points. Only talked about each for 10 minutes. (or... however many minutes seems reasonable.) That puts an end to the long, long, endless talks that were in that relationship.
In poly, the amount of sex is rarely even....There are so many ways to measure the time/affection of another partner. Some measure the number of hours, or days with a partner. Others calculate the number of orgasms or... There's no way it will be even.
... be gentle with each other.. it is easy to do major damage with a careless word.