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Old 11-15-2012, 07:46 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helo View Post
Even if you're getting upwards of eighty messages a week, filtering out the sleazy messages and copypasting a basic "thanks but no thanks" takes a few seconds and it helps prevent the shotgun scatter type messages that are so common.
How does an answer to one person help prevent anything from anyone else?

Sure, I send a "Thanks but not interested" message from time to time, but even those go to people who put thought and care into their communication with me. Really, the abundance of messages that only contain "hi how r u" or "nice eyes" or "mmm let's chat" can be mind-boggling. Who has time or energy to send replies to people who are such obvious dead ends?

You don't seem to understand that answering messages like the ones cited does absolutely no good. We don't have to write back if we don't want to. And it goes both ways. I take my time and compose very thoughtful messages and, certainly, only a small percentage of guys I write to ever respond back. <shrug> No skin off my nose. And most of the people that write me get Blocked and Hidden immediately. It's a crap shoot anyway, not a big deal. You can't get your hopes up that anything will come out of it, but yet you still have to make a good, intelligent effort (it's called putting your best foot forward) and figure that if something good comes out of online dating, it's a rarity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helo View Post
I'm saying that a chronic mistake almost all people make is over-think what other people thought when doing something.
Huh? I'm not sure what you're saying here at all.

Are you just defending guys who don't take the time to read profiles or write and proofread their messages, as if that is what they're all doing and no more should be expected? I don't get it. This thread is a hilarious goldmine of info on what not to do and what people look for in intro messages - have you read it from the beginning? There are some real doozies! Oh I have laughed hard reading this one. Yes, admittedly, it was created to poke fun at the eejits who send really lame or weird messages but I believe that somewhere here there is also a thread where we helped people to edit and tweak their profiles and messages, with examples of really good ones we've received.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 11-15-2012 at 08:09 AM.
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