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Old 11-15-2012, 07:26 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
In online dating, there is no obligation to respond back. Why? Well, think about how many messages you get on OKC in a week. Don't tell me - just keep that number in mind. Ok, got it? Good. Now you just became a woman - Hela.

Your messages just tripled. Oh you are young, able bodied, and conventionally attractive? Quadrupled. Photogenic? In a major metropolitan area? Interested in casual sex? BDSM friendly? Submissive? Add a order of magnitude increase for each. You can see how many women - maybe most women - get overwhelmed with messages. And even if you are none of these, you will still get more messages as Hela than as Helo. (Create a dummy profile just like yours but flip genders - it will prove the point.)
Even if you're getting upwards of eighty messages a week, filtering out the sleazy messages and copypasting a basic "thanks but no thanks" takes a few seconds and it helps prevent the shotgun scatter type messages that are so common.

It is nice to respond but I am under no obligation to do so.
I never said you were but I think its better for people in general if you at least make an attempt.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh, so you're basically saying "we guys are all thoughtless and lazy and that's the best you can expect." Don't lump all guys into that category, because it simply isn't true. Any guy with whom I've connected via OKCupid very obviously put thought into his messages, wrote at least a paragraph or two, showed that he read my profile, and exhibited not only a sense of humor but intellect and an understanding of grammar and how to communicate. I have no desire to reply to or meet with anyone who doesn't meet those basic requirements. It would not even matter if he is very good looking or if our match percentage is very high, if he isn't smart enough to know he should make an effort to entice me.
I'm saying that a chronic mistake almost all people make is over-think what other people thought when doing something.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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