So here is my predicament: I want to be with my partner. She means the world to me and I never want to lose her. She is nonmonogamous and I am monogamous. I don't want to ask her to be monogamous, because that wouldn't be true to who she is, but at the same time, I don't want to be nonmonogamous because I don't feel that it is true to who I am. I am at a complete loss as to how this could be resolved so that everyone can be happy.
- The monogamy part cannot be changed in you.
- The nonmonogamy part cannot be changed in her.
- You don't want to exclude her from your life.
- Cannot live in pain (either of you)
- Then perhaps the romance part has to shift, and you include each other in your lives in the role of friend instead of the role of romantic partner.
Nothing wrong with having a good friend. I know you probably don't want to stop the romance part either, but given that the other things are hard limits and this one is a soft that CAN be changed in time...
has to give here. I know it is probably not what you want to hear.
I am sorry you are hurting.