Hi Cattiva, sorry you are going thru such a hard time, I certainly hope it gets better for you soon.
An observation here... I noticed that Lamian is listed as your "female owner" and Primal, is her husband, your boyfriend....
I cant help but wonder if the dynamics of your relationship w them isnt your problem.. perhaps could they see you as just "a plaything that is owned" or "as a pet that is owned"? I ask because I understand the dynamics of "being owned"... but I also know, "being owned" does not neccessarily mean or translate to you are loved in the sense of being a partner, keep in mind, we love our pets, but are not in love with them.. it appears you want to be by this couple loved in a manner this couple cannot or are not willing to provide to you, maybe they are not capable.
I hope you do not take my post as mean or harsh or degrading, that simply is not my intention at all... merely making an observation based on relationship structure described in your signature. I truelly wish you the best, and hope that you find your way.