There are a lot of examples of the type of unhealthiness I think you are referring to. Physically abusive relationships, co-dependant relationships where one person manipulates the other through their weaknesses such as addiction. I think we have all seen people go down a path of destruction in trying to fill a need desperately. Usually this is because they are not connected to themselves I think.
After splitting up with my ex wife I went down a path where I thought all I needed was sex. I almost slept with some one who was completely unhealthy out of sheer belief that this was a need and what I was supposed to do. Luckily my body said no and my mind regained control. That was a very low point for me but out of it I grew immensely. I also explored casual sex and found that I didn't "need" sex just for the sake of it. All of this lead to me being prepared to love and "need" Redpepper in a healthy way.
I have found something very specific in Redpepper; complete trust and the ability to share my darkest thoughts and history. I do feel this would be extremely hard to find with any one else. While I don't consider being this open a "need" with every one, I do consider it a need to reach the level of depth I have with her.
So I guess my "needs" are very individual based.
Hmmm..great topic Lilo!!
Thanks for pushing my thoughts on this Seventh Crow