Problems with new Polyamorous Relationship
Hello. I'm posting the same story that I've seen on this site dozens of times, in the hope of getting some advice and/or direction on my unique situation. Because in the end, everyone's relationship is unique.
I've been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years now, and she's been wanting to be polyamorous for a while now. Last week she started dating one of her friends that I've known for a while. I've been generally supportive, and helped her get the courage up to tell the guy how she feels, but now that they're actually dating I'm finding myself extremely stressed out. I'm having a hard time sleeping, and I can't concentrate at work because I always seem to be thinking about it, and they're generally negative thoughts.
We talk about it frequently, but I never find myself coming away from those conversations feeling all that much better. It's come down to the point where she's told me "this is something that is important in my life, and if you're not okay with it, that's probably a deal-breaker."
I love her, and I don't want to lose her or try to force her into doing something she doesn't want to do, but I don't know if I'm going to become okay with this or not. As of right now, I'm not even completely sure what's bothering me about it.
Other posts about people in similar situations have had the response to do research on polyamory and to be introspective. I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and I've never been very introspective, so I guess my questions are; how do I go about finding out what's really bugging me about this and address it, and where is a good place to do said research? Google searches have basically brought me here, and to Wikipedia.