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Old 11-14-2012, 06:51 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi RomanticGeek,
I just read your other posts, to which you linked, and this one - and it sounds like, as unpredictable and scary this stage may seem, you have chosen the right path for yourself. You seem at peace, despite the unknown looming before you. Change is the only absolute in life, so really the only thing we can do is stop fighting it. You put your heart and soul into relationships that worked sometimes and didn't work other times, and came out realizing that the scales were tipped in a direction that would not bring you satisfaction and fulfillment. Good on you for being brave enough to admit it.

Don't be scared of being alone. I am still in the midst of getting divorced myself (two years separated) and have come to really appreciate being by myself, although of course there are times I do feel lonesome. But it passes. It isn't actually that horrifying to be alone, and can be very soul-soothing to enjoy your own company -- and you can always go out for a walk and connect with people in some way, even if it's a stranger walking their dog and you have a moment to stop and say hello, pet the dog, make eye contact. Just find ways not to indulge in self-pitying thoughts.

"Lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it..." from this spoken word video: How To Be Alone

You won't be alone forever, anyway. Believe me. It sounds like you are in a good place, actually. Glad to read that you have an excellent therapist, too. All the best to you.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 11-14-2012 at 06:54 PM.
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