Originally Posted by persephone
Has anyone else run into this? What is it with all these mangy guys with scruffy beards and bad hygiene? Is it just the males of the poly community in my area? How do you folks with sensitive noses, like me, deal with sterling human beings who appear to be afraid of soap and toothpaste?
As for the title's question: F yes. Because of my work (and just general personality) I'm hypersensitive to personal hygiene and if someone's personal cleanliness is lacking on a consistent basis, chances are good I wont want to be around that person again.
I put cinnamon in my shoes and hair for gods' sake (which, incidentally, is an amazing strategy for a date). Very paranoid about smelling bad.
As for the guy, is it the first date? Off breath sometimes is difficult to detect in yourself so a polite offer of a mint or gum probably is the best bet. It'll be embarrassing for a second but that will pass quickly. For the hair, are you sure it wasn't hair gel? Why people feel the need to slather their heads with petroleum jelly I will never understand but some people still do and it can lend to a greasy look even in freshly washed hair.
Other than that, I'd say go on a few more dates and see if its a trend.
And in defense of scruffy men (as I am a scruffy man) we get mixed messages; I've had women pounce on me for my scruffy appearance and I've had others tell me they'd totally fuck me if I would just shave my face. Plus my hair is very prone to flyaways so I kinda always look I just came down out of the mountains with my flock of goats for market day.