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Old 11-14-2012, 01:31 AM
persephone persephone is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 68
Default Is bad hygiene a dealbreaker?

OK, I don't know if my experience is typical, but I have had more than one first date with a poly man who was...not so fresh. The first two times, I wouldn't have been interested in dating them even if they were neatly groomed and smelled like a field of wildflowers, but I just met someone whom I click with really, really well and could definitely see being in a relationship with. Except for his breath, which was so awful I noticed it even before I sat down across from him in a cafe. And his hair, which looked like it hadn't been washed in a week.

I debated what to do, and one of my partners recommended that I just tell him, so, in the nicest possible way, I recommended that he reevaluate his oral hygiene routine and visit a dentist (he confirmed that he has dental insurance). I didn't have the heart to bring up showering after that (and he actually didn't smell bad outside of his breath, just looked really unkempt).

I may have done him a big favor, but I still can't decide if I should go forth and date him. It just bugs me that he didn't shower and brush his teeth before going on a first date with me. He seems to be the sweetest guy ever though.

Has anyone else run into this? What is it with all these mangy guys with scruffy beards and bad hygiene? Is it just the males of the poly community in my area? How do you folks with sensitive noses, like me, deal with sterling human beings who appear to be afraid of soap and toothpaste?

Last edited by persephone; 11-14-2012 at 01:57 AM.
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