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Old 12-23-2009, 05:37 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Another thought that I would like you to consider...

When an existing couple enters the realm of polyamory, it is very important to do it together (and I don't mean with the same partner, necessarily!) These are fundamental big-picture changes to all the established patterns that are in your relationships, and changes like that can be traumatic. So it is absolutely vital than one person doesn't just "run on ahead" and leave the other emotionally in the dust.

If you are not comfortable yet with him doing something, then you need to express that to him and he needs to respect that and take that into consideration. Otherwise he isn't respecting the relationship that you have. If you have issues with a particular aspect, then the two of you should be working on talking this through together.

There is a fine balance of too many rules in place, and a free-for-all - and the right amount is dependent on those involved.

Part of what he needs to reassure you about (and prove to you) is that he is not doing this to replace you in any way. You have said that there is a strong bond between the two of you - I doubt that any would be able to replace that. However, it's not me that needs to be saying that and proving that to you - he does.

Hope this makes a bit of sense...

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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