I may have some hormone problems because along with mood swings, irritability, extreme depression I'm also fatigued all the time, breaking out in bad acne, have no ability to control my body temperture and my periods have been off the walls crazy.
Get thyroid checked. All of those can be hypothyroid. Could be something else but perhaps worth looking into. I've had all those.
But I have no idea how to tell them that when they kiss me or hold me it hurts because it lets my head start wanting and longing for that deeper connection.
Just spit it out. You are processing disappointment in the fact that they (at this time) cannot offer you a deeper connection you crave. So please hold up on affection gestures while you digest this news.
Alternately -- tell them you are feeling mood swings, irritability, extreme depression, fatigue, etc. You are feeling especially "prickly and touchy" and want a bit of space while you go get your check up organized.
One is more direct about your emotional processing, the other is still true but who knows? You could
feel better about all this if it DOES turn out to be thyroid.
I have hypothyroid. My values got so wacked out one summer I got all GRR and was telling DH I wanted to break up and get a divorce -- my moody was THAT bad. That night I apologized for the tantrum and told him I felt terrible and he told me I needed a check up because I was so
out of character. Then I had labs and it turned out that I was all kinds of wacko and needed a serious change in my meds! Then I felt better.
Now we have a new rule -- if I start talking weirdness out of nowhere like that again before doing anything else about it the FIRST thing is to get new labs scheduled and check my meds!
I get labs anyway for other things pretty regularly but it is just another thing to watch out for as I age.
I don't know if any of that is comforting or helpful to you. But do think about a check up to see what is what.