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Old 11-13-2012, 06:17 AM
SearchingforMyself SearchingforMyself is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 29

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Unlike some of the other debates and discussion on here which are most definitely about semantics, I think that this goes well beyond word-choice or meanings of words - I firmly believe that trying to put agreements in place which try to limit or somehow control how someone feels in their heart are counter-productive, repressive, and unrealistic.
I feel like this is the situation that I'm in right now. My metamour J has always held veto power in her relationship with JP. As far as I know, all of his previous relationships have been FWB at the most. In fact, I think that is what we were originally supposed to be - but it does seem to have become more. He has been involved with other women over the years but I'm the first one that he's "brought home" - J is very much a homebody and not social at all. I now spend most weekends at their home with them and J will happily spend time on her computer while JP and I watch tv together. We refer to ourselves as the wife (J, obviously) and the mistress (me) - while letting others such as family and J's co-workers draw their own conclusions. I feel that this is becoming more than FWB between JP and I but the only word I can think of to describe my feelings at the moment is "attached" which is just so vague. It's a bit confusing - to say the least... Hard to negotiate/renegotiate boundaries when I can't yet put my feelings into words.

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Yes, definitely. I can't find a positive way of viewing a situation where someone would say, "You can sleep with my spouse but you two can't develop feelings for each other."
Maybe someone who feels the need to say something like this has had an experience with a cowboy/cowgirl?
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