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Old 11-13-2012, 05:38 AM
krysjah krysjah is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 12

Thank you both for your responses. I really appreciate any feedback that I can get in this situation.

I know that DH is referring to my husband, but what does it stand for?

In response to your questions, Gala...

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Why? What does it take away from other things needing your time? Is DH bothered? Is the other spouse bothered by time management?
I'm really not sure. I guess I almost feel like I'm neglecting my husband, and the other woman. She and I are also really good friends, so any time outside of a designated swap night includes either one of them or both (my hubby and her). We have 2 nights a week as designated swap nights, but the only time we really get alone is when we're in bed.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
What do you and DH do to continue to court each other? Do you make enough time to have "couple time" alone -- having dates, enjoying each other's company?
We try to. We currently have a friend sleeping on our couch while she gets her life together, so a lot of our "alone time" is with her around. Our schedules are also really off at the moment, so we don't get that much time together. And out of the 5 nights that we could have to choose from to spend together, 2 of them are swap nights. (although, recently I have canceled a swap night in favor of spending time with hubby)

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
People feel what they feel when they feel it. You can't control what others feel or when they feel that. You cannot control how they choose to behave. They are in charge of themselves. You can't control what you feel or when you feel it -- it just ensues. You only get to control how you behave.
I completely 100% agree with this. I think it just bothers me because I am close friends with the other woman as well, and she has expressed that she would like her feelings reciprocated, and I know that I can't do anything about it, so I feel bad. I feel bad that her fiance has feelings for me, and that we have developed a bond. Not because it's not ok, or that it takes away from either relationship, but because I know that she wants the same thing from my husband, and he's just not really interested in having feelings for anyone other than me.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Who is hurting? Your DH? The other spouse?
My husband only gets upset when he feels/thinks that he's not getting as much time with me as he would like. Most of the time, I'm not even with the other man. As explained above, our schedules are just kind of wonky right now, and so they don't line up as often as either of us would like them to.

Also, as explained above, the other spouse. She would really like for my husband to reciprocate feelings for her. She would love for him to want to spend time with her, as much as her fiance likes to spend time with me. She has expressed that she feels like no one really wants her around, which all of us have explained is not the case at all.
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