Just Checking In
No poly article of the week this week. Date instead.
Which was fun in a low key way -- initially it was dinner/movie but it ended up as dinner/visit adult store because we wanted to chat and pull out of date mode at any time in case we were needed at home or if I started feeling ugh. (Not feeling great.)
So we enjoyed the cheap diner eats and the long drive out and back. We hadn't been as a couple in a long time to this particular store so it was fun to see how everything had changed.
I don't remember what we talked about in great detail. It was just mellow. I do remember talking about NRE/ORE balance and neither of us being especially keen on "veto" powers. Give input, be considered but not veto.
He made me laugh when he told me "I trust and value your input in other areas of my life -- why not this?"
I'd still expect him to make his own choices and me mine. But it is reassuring to know he wants to hear me. I know I'd want to hear him.
When I stop to check on any vomitous anxiety feelings? Most of them are still.
We're both enjoying a crush of mine on a mutual friend -- and he's got a bit of liking in that direction too. That's fun to fantasize on. It's also fun to hang out with friend because I know he's watching me squirm in pleasure.
It's a safe fun way to explore some feelings there with the "what iffing."
Of course, everything going in the positives because that's more fun to "what if."
I have to ask him to what if some negatives with me. What if I DID get together with this crush person and we broke up and I was all moody pants. How would HE be? Balancing his own friendship with person and my ugh and their ugh?
That's part of keeping it real. To me anyway.