You list a bunch of things you do not know.
I'd like to lift up you mention some things you DO know:
- Maybe it all is a result of having a child and having little time for ourselves.
- I don't want her to not feel loved. (I love her.)
- I am interested in rekindling with her being a part of this.
- I do not want to jeopardize what we do have for my fantasy
- It would be great if we went on this journey together
- I also want to protect our child.
So... why not make some babysitting appear, court your lady some? Get that emotional intimacy built back up. Start sharing your fantasies and thoughts and inner life stuff.
Maybe she's not willing to open the marriage but is willing to share in more of your inner life. Are you giving her the opportunity to rise to the occassion and letting her get to know the authentic you?