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Old 11-12-2012, 08:38 PM
Oneironaut Oneironaut is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
Default Possibility of first poly relationship?

As I mentioned in my introduction, I'm new here and I'm looking forward to reading your stories. Here's mine. I'm hoping you can help me out.

About a year ago I was in a funk in my private and professional life when I met a beautiful and fascinating man a couple of years younger than me, who I'll refer to as A. We were instantly attracted to each other the moment we met, not just physically but personally. We had a lot in common; we were both poz and highly sexual, we are both rather boyish and "alternative" (I guess) with similar interests, and we were both in transitional phases in our lives (he was just getting back into school and I was preparing to do the same).

While the sex was hot, there was definitely something more going on. We spent a lot of time sharing, being close and just getting to know each other. It turned out we had some mutual friends so he had actually seen me before and thought I was attractive long before I even knew of him. I was so excited to have met someone so interesting on so many levels.

The only thing was that he had been in a relationship with someone in New York for about 18 months prior to meeting me, and their relationship was in the air. He was very open about this from the start and I tried to understand. It was hard on him having strong feelings for me while being uncertain about his primary open relationship. He would get close to me, then pull away, and this pushing and pulling was really hard on me. I knew I could fall for him and he knew he could fall for me. He would say how he was capable of loving more than one person and how there were things about me and his boyfriend he loved that he wished he could bring together somehow.

Eventually, things came to a head and he ended our romantic relationship. Though I understood why, I was very hurt and we didn't communicate at all for 8 months. In the interim our lives changed drastically. I was excited to be going back to school and my life was in a much better place for growth. Meanwhile, his boyfriend (who I'll refer to as B) had moved to MA to live with him.

At the end of the summer, he got in touch with me, saying how he didn't like the way things ended up with us and how he wanted us to be friends again. We met one afternoon and talked about it and there was definitely an attraction there still. We were soon back in each other's arms in the grass under the sun, catching up and sharing as we used to. He was very eager for me to meet his bf, and I briefly did. B is very handsome and equally interesting.

For awhile there, I didn't expect anything more. I was busy with school so my mind wasn't on it too much and I just figured even if we never spoke again, I was much happier with the way things ended up this time. We stayed in touch via text and Facebook, but I wasn't really expecting much.

However, not long ago, we had our first triad date. They came over, we made dinner, talked a lot, snuggled on the couch watching movies and had amazing sex. They had never had a threesome together before and I was their first. It was very nice because all three of us were equally into each other, and A seemed very happy to be spending time with me again. He even suggested that B and I spend some time together on our own at some point.

Last night we had another amazing date; incredible sex, lots of snuggling, getting to know each other even more, dinner and a movie. Again, A seemed very happy to see me again and there was no hiding it. We were all very free and open with our affection. B and I were learning more about each other. They had just gotten a new bed and seemed to be trying it out with me, trying out different ways of napping and snuggling together. There is this feeling of domesticity and warmth when we're together, which is what I loved about A in the first place. As much as the sex, I love sitting in the kitchen together, cooking, joking and sharing, all very easily.

Now I don't know if it's just me, but I have this feeling they may be interested in pursuing a triad. There are hints; A saying he could love more than one person and being so eager for me to meet B, the fact that I'm the first person they've spent this kind of time with, A suggesting B and I spend time alone together, and just the general vibe. I'm not sure though because I do feel I could be falling in love with them both and I don't want to be seeing stuff that isn't there. I'm afraid to bring it up directly. Maybe they will suggest it if or when they're ready and I just need to be patient.

So I guess my question is, do you think it sounds like things really are going that way, or is just me being hopeful? Should I just be chill and let it play out, or should I bring up the idea of a poly relationship myself? I have absolutely no idea what the protocol is for this sort of thing, so to speak. I've known A for over a year but I've only known B for a few months, so I don't know if the "three dates before getting more serious" rule applies here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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