Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
What if, for whatever reason (ex-wife trying to get custody of kids, for example) staying "in the closet" (to some degree or another) is a requirement of the new guy? (say your cousin goes to his ex-wife's church) Is that a deal breaker for you? (If the ex-wife/kids/church thing doesn't apply, couch it in terms of professional career or something). Just some food for thought...
If he requires that kind of discretion, then I am by all means willing to accommodate that. I just don't want it to be unknown due to my own possible insecurities. I want to be open and honest for my own well being, so if he has a valid reason to not be, then that's different. I just don't want either of my men (possible men) to feel that they are less loved or less cared for because I don't tell my family about them.
I can see how it would hurt me and I refuse to cause that kind of hurt for someone else, especially in this situation. If I do have a third, I want him to know that he is as special and amazing to me as my first partner is.
Though I do hate using the terms primary and secondary as it to me denotes a difference in my partners.