Welcome to our forum.
To find poly people in your area without going through any local organizations, you might try OKCupid
, or PolyMatchMaker
. Also we have a Dating & Friendships subforum
, in case you haven't checked that out already.
As far as the poly relationship I'm in, it was rough during the first several years. But things have smoothed out since then, so I do believe it gets better.
I hope this site will be a helpful and comfortable place for you.