Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
I'm assuming it would not actually be "totally up to her" - presumably if she were interested in a triad down the road this would also depend on your fiance wanting a relationship with her as well
Also, what if she is already in a Vee or Triad (or couple, or N/M/W/Z etc.)? Would you or your fiance be open to a relationship with her
other partner(s)? Or are you only considering single women? What if she wants to develop a relationship with someone else (not your fiance) after you and she have "established a bond"?
Just some food for thought...in general though, I think it may be limiting to be planning relationship configurations before you've met the person you want to have the relationship with?
Lol well, I shouldn't say "this is how I want it" because that's not what I really mean. Mainly, I'm just following my feelings. The details are very open to me, and anything is situational, of course. It would be a matter of chemistry, naturally, and whether she was in another relationship is fine with me, so long as it's fine with everyone else involved. I guess my worry is being used by another couple, like I had been years ago (unicorn hunters), and so I don't feel a need to be involved with both. Infact, I fear it.
As for the meetups and drama that goes on... I don't know if it's just the people in my state, but I've seen so much high-school type behavior go on, and I tire of seeing social circles degrade to gossip, lies, and fights. I see poly as infinite love, not constant struggles for 10% of the time being happy. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well, but it's hard to express how I've seen some of the local poly community exploit things (meaning it's hard to find poly friends who view it as I do... most view it as just a huge conquest mission, out to have everyone they can instead of building relationships and bonds).