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Old 06-07-2009, 03:38 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,018

Originally Posted by StarGazer View Post
I wasn't sure, because the general vibe I got from poly is not just that- but also that you crave being with more than one person/having the option, so a monogamous relationship wouldn't work. I posted my previous situation (with the person I would've liked to also be my partner, which has since passed) on a poly forum, and a person was quite insistent that if I am poly, then eventually I won't be happy with monogamy- and I don't know if that's true or not. There are definitely things I find appealing about polyamory, and if I found the right people it seems like it could be wonderful, but a much bigger thing is that I want my partner involved (not in the relationship necessarily, not as more than friends, but in my life), and if I can't find a way that my partner's comfortable with it- it's not happening.
I'm not sure that 'craving' is a necessary element, and I suspect the person on the other forum may be smoking something. It may be true for them...that they could never be happy being doesn't have to be true for you. Just because you are open to the idea of poly, doesn't mean you have to act on it...nor that you are doomed to misery if you decide to remain mono. And looking at your own words above, you seem to have these things already figured out...including the wisdom to recognize that relationship advice by the likes of Cosmo et al. is a recipe to the divorce & infidelity society we live in. Mono or Poly, communication, honesty, disclosure is key. Trust yourself.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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