Yay! I'm always so encouraged when I'm not alone.
For educating folks, I do like Spoon Theory. I think it was mentioned in a different thread, but belongs in here, if people are searching for 'disability.' The gal who wrote it has lupus (I apologize for my ignorance, is SLE just one kind of lupus, are there others, or is it all SLE?).
CBF, while he doesn't really understand my disease, uses spoon theory to try to explain to other people. I got to link it to his boss, who has severe arthritis (and several other conditions). She took it to her HR department, and got many missed hours forgiven from her record.
nondy2, my men are over 30, but they are much younger than I am. I do think it makes a difference.
Oh, and sex parties? Don't do a thing for me. And have a very large sexual lens to life. I'm glad you gained some understanding with your metamour.
LR, when noobs join my facebook support groups, I often welcome them with 'glad you're here, sorry you're qualified.' I add to my self-esteem by knowing that even people I hate, and whom I wish would be sent to the bowels of hell; I do not wish chronic pain on anyone, not even them.