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Old 11-10-2012, 05:06 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,381

So you and the BF are now more at "companionate love" for this stage of life. Nothing wrong with that if you are both happy and satisfied in sharing this type relationship. Things can move around within that love theory model -- people are not static and time changes things all over the place.

There is nothing wrong with you feeling desire for other people -- male or female. Feelings are just feelings. Rain is rain, sun is sun, emotion is emotion. You could choose to just let it blow on through and not say boo to anyone about it.

Or if your currrent polyship enjoys titillating talk and they are willing to participate -- you could choose to fantasize all you want about other people with your current Loves. Let your mind run wild with them! Enjoy!

Or if your current polyship agreements do not allow you to date men and this is something you want to act on, you could choose to ask both BF and GF to renegotiate. Poly agreements ALSO can change and evolve over time as the polyship people's needs flow and ebb.

The point is.. Emotion does NOT have to be acted on automatically just because you feel it. YOU get to choose what to do about that emotiona felt, if anything at all. Just having the emotions doesn't make you "weird" or something.

Would it be rude and selfish of me to talk to him about this? After how open he has been with me entering into a serious relationship with my gf. Am I asking too much? My curiosity is just poking me to get some opinions on this lol. Thanks.
Talk about WHAT exactly? Your emotions? Or your emotions AND your desire to act on them by dating other guys?

Either way? Just be up front and honest. Report your emotional weather. Then he knows where you are at, the authentic real YOU.

He can choose to say "Sure! Tell me more!" He can choose to say "No, don't tell me about that!" He can choose all manner of things. Because he chooses his next behavior.

He chooses how he behaves. You choose how you behave.

In my life? I tell DH all sorts of things about my desires, emotions, crushes, or fantasies. DH knows if I wanted to seriously pursue I'd come to him to renegotiate agreements too. I like the level of emotional intimacy we share. Why would I hold back? He can either handle me full on or he can't. After 20 years together? I know he can take it. It's a turn on, actually.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 11-10-2012 at 05:11 PM.
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