I realize lack of compersion is not necessarily the same state as what I've just described, which is more negative than indifferent. I usually do just feel neutral about their situation, but then I feel bad about not being excited, which kind of reminds me to feel jealous or something.
Is it possible that in your inner self-talk when you talk to yourself inside your head you overuse "should" language?
"I should this" or "I should feel that" type?
Rather than "I could this" or "I could that" or even "What do I feel? I feel X." More of what IS rather than what it should
When I was a hinge I didn't expect anything from the metas other than basic polite. I gave the basic contact info and let them sort it out to whatever they wanted it to be. It naturally fell at a polite/distant thing. Each knew about the other but neither had any desire to be friends or get tight or anything. I let them deal with it on their tier of the polymath.