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Old 11-10-2012, 03:41 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

My thoughts.

- Don't hide your feelings just to avoid the possibility of offending B. Explain to him why you were hurt, why you continue to be hurt. Not that you want him to leave A, but that you don't understand why you getting hit wasn't a big deal. If your relationship can't take that much honesty, then it's not much of a relationship, y'know?

- B doesn't necessarily need to confront A for you to get closure. It might be nice for him to bring it up. Like, "Hey, I spoke to Disruptive about the breakup. She doesn't want to get back together, but she misses you. She's still really confused about that time you punched her, though, and I have to admit that I am too. What was that about? Do you do that sometimes when you're drunk, or was it just a weird fluke? Would you ever do it to me? Have you considered therapy?" Again, if they have a strong enough relationship, it should be able to handle such a conversation, irregardless of context. But that's B's choice. What really matters, for your relationship with B, is that you at least understand what he's thinking, whether or not he talks to A.

- You can forgive A without getting back together with him. Personally, I don't know if I could trust someone who did that to me and didn't show remorse.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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